Why Wallow When You Can Soar?

Are you suffering, stuck in a situation or contentious relationship? If it goes around and around in your head, playing out who is right, who is wrong, what they should have done, what you should have said – face it: you are wallowing.

Dr. Marta Adelsman, Life Coach in Communication and Spiritual Consciousness, shows through her own experiences a shift which will send you soaring.

Her first book, Why Wallow When You Can Soar? published August 2014, is sourced from her prolific blogs, newspaper columns and magazine articles from the last 10 or so years.

Marta is an expert at honestly exposing her personal life in situations we can all relate to. Then she widens and shifts our perspective to go beyond the he said, she said to free us to see everything anew. She gives specific steps to take for healthier communication, resulting in more freedom. She is dedicated to conscious living.

Marta is passionate about ending her own suffering, and she knows that the only real way to do that is to go beyond the mind, to the Truth of who we Really Are. By accessing her authentic Self, she shows us how to move into a life of love, joy, and freedom.

It is obvious that Dr. Marta is well versed in current literature in consciousness, and has benefitted from many practices. She makes them her own and inspires us as well as gives practical exercises to solve and go beyond our perceived problems.

Dr. Marta shows that those challenging emotions and situations we all have experienced have a place on the spiritual journey. Going deeper she shows how, with commitment to consciousness and a willingness to be temporarily uncomfortable, they become the vital steps in spiritual awakening.

Here are a few excerpts to stoke your curiosity:

Ego

“Observe not only the costumes that others wear, but those that you put on as well. Notice when you manipulate, tell white lies, hide, pretend, flatter, or resist in order to get your way. Not only can you learn to see through and speak to  someone else’s costume, you can also deal with your own.

I recall a time when I put on a “victim” costume in order to gain my husband’s sympathy. He refused to play by my rules and did not take the bait.

“That’s your issue,” he said. “I’m not buying into it.” ”

Emotions

“So there you have it. I’m mad, sad, scared and guilty. I’m feeling sorry for myself, and I want to eat chocolate!

When I feel this way, I have a ritual that usually restores me to a balanced state. I go to my journal and draw a line down a page, splitting it into two columns. I label the left column “Lies,” and the right column “Truth.””

Listening and Communication

Take a look at these ways that automatic, reactive listening may show up for you. See if you can identify which ones have attached themselves to you.

Blame: “It’s not my fault.”  “How come I didn’t know?”

Fear: “I don’t think I can. What if…(the worst) happens?”

Resistance: “I absolutely refuse!”

Relationships

“I now see that, in a healthy relationship, neither party needs the other for happiness. Neither uses the other to work out personal issues.

I’ve observed that need-based relationships often result in sticky, manipulative interactions. They teem with attempts to get the other person to change to fill personal needs. ”

Self-Care

“Like a frog that cooks in a pot of gradually heating water, I had incrementally given away my self-renewal time without even realizing it. As I juggled my many responsibilities, all the balls had remained in the air, so I thought everything was okay – until my accident. ”

Peace

“I began to picture the situation as a storm all around me. I envisioned myself sitting in the center of it, with nothing but a peaceful space between myself and the raging maelstrom.

Soon my feelings began to change. I noticed that an inner tranquility had returned. Along with it came a renewed ability to see the situation objectively without making stuff up about what might happen or what others may be thinking and feeling. I felt a confidence that I could lovingly handle whatever came my way.”

Gratitude

“I hurriedly removed a couple of lemons from my refrigerator, intent on using them for a dish I wanted to cook. As I held them in my hand, I suddenly felt captivated and overwhelmed by their beauty. I gazed at them, and gratitude welled up inside me as their inner essence reached out and grabbed my heart.”

Being

“As I prepared to write this chapter, I searched my mind for an example about how intuition has shown up in my life. At first I resisted a quiet, persistent thought to get up and look in a notebook where, years ago, I had written a definition of intuition.  Finally I looked in the notebook, and there in the margin, I had written the words, “Paul’s birth.”  I had my example, which I shared with you above, neatly delivered to me by my intuition!”

If you like what you have read . . .

Order Dr. Marta’s book on Amazon!

It takes just an afternoon to read the book, or you can pick it up and read a chapter for inspiration or insight. Either way, just pick it up!